woke up to see its still wednesday

Ah it was a long day. I woke up thinking its thursday. Thinking just 2 days for the weekend. But what a disappointment. It was not a bad day but nothing great either. A little sad as i dint even have time for breakfast or lunch. just had a fruit bowl and i dont like such days. Already i am so disappointed and scared I will lose whatever little weight I have gained.

Anyhoo those are trivial stuffs. The meeting finally happened with the big shots. Turns out Mr.Yu is actually a nice guy. He infact offered to pick up BB once he lands in London. I dont like me lost look while i travel back home. Bad rumors bout chuhiya and AD. Whats he thinking-i mean if he is even thinkin-he is married for god's sake and she is just bringing the entire womanhood down. Where did all the self respect go! How can anyone get so cheap just for onsite. Mon and me were discussing the same. I try my best to keep enough distance. What more can i do.

another day gone.

So much to do , so much to think. need to go away.

Just another manic Monday

busy day...meetings cancelled. unplanned meetings. time flew. day came to an end. did what was expected. did what was planned and unplanned. dint like a few. thought a lot. worked alot... now time to sleep. i need me-time. weekend was good. more on it hopefully tomorrow!

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

The courage to change the things that I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

need to meditate...lol so says my horoscope and also my colleague today. I just need the above prayer in my life. i need the courage right now. I need to sleep :) and i will probably explain the above someday.

Monday blues

I've become like a machine. Wake up, brush, watch tv, eat breakfast a bit, shower, get ready hit the road, reach office, work like a donkey, and then head home frustrated and exhausted. The only emotions i show are anger and blank expressions. Sometimes i fear people around me will read my blank face so i pretend to smile and laugh to all that they say. Nod and agree no matter what.

I do not like what i have become but sometimes feel like i've no choice. Its getting late and i should probably head home but tough luck. My whole body hurts thanks to the weekends' activities and i'm starved already. I dont want to think bout dirty dishes or bout tomorrows issues. I dont want to think bout those thoughts which have been bothering me. I just want to sleep happy. I keep waking and texting at weird hours. I need a break.

AD in th noon itself told i look beat and probably need to go back to london and i wanted to mock and say really?! you think!

He asked for a quick catch up and i hate it. People are anyways talking shit bout his association with girls thanks to chuhiya's advances. And the last thing i need on my mind is association with him. Just briefed him on the stay and i did mention few people were difficult. But then I dint give names. He asked if i'd like to travel again I said probably later. Not right now.

I think i'll make a move in the next few mins. Have had enough.

Weekend that was

Weekend is over and i dread office tomorrow. maybe i just will ignore it for the time being. It was a good one. very tiring one! my whole body hurts. Fri night was bad. I so badly need a laptop. Hopefully will be getting one soon. I really need to blog cause i dont get to write here. and doing in office is not fun.

Again she got on my nerves. I do my best and am always on call even after work hours so that no issues go to her but she has to go and spoil my mood. I dunno wi i let it get to me so much. I was so furious i told Saj i'm gonna take release from this effing proj! Then he calmed me saying he'll handle her. But its not good enough for me. She is like mentally harassing me!Chuck it

Saturday went to Savandurga with rims saana n Nith. it was way too tiring and sunny. got tanned royally. i mean i was red!! saana and me gave up a million times on the way. Then finally thanks to nith and rims persistence we finally made it to the top. There were few dumb ones who came without water. I mean who comes trekking cum rock climbing without water. anyways the trip was fun. our only food now and then was bananas and oranges, last pitstop at dominos then home. Long shower, it rained but dint reduce the temperature :( had dinner at home whereas all had gone out for dinner.

Today initially had apprehension to start dancing again but then once i started there was no stopping. i did get out of breath a couple of times. but it felt good. And I felt loved by everyone's  warm response :)
Seems they had not had this kind of practice in months. They did some shows but not new sequences. made me feel good that i dint miss out anything.

Eve checked with rims and payl but dint happen. And i dunno what was i thinking planning to meet them dressed like a hippy. i forgot to change after pract so i was in a bright pink tee and dark blue checkered three fourths. plus i needed a shower badly. wanted to meet up with che and then suddenly i was moody and i just headed home. and started blogging. :) watching DID. its ok not all that great. will go shower. or maybe eat first. and also i have other things to write too :)

Long Time!

I know its been like really long. I haven't had the time nor patience to write. I have been a lot of things after coming back. Yes I'm back home! Home sweet home.


I have been happy to be home. I have been happy to meet all my loved ones. I have been super excited to meet few and some i have not yet met. And i am waiting to meet them up. My job sucks but i dont wanna complain too much because i am thankful to have one. I hate it at times cuz i was not getting the leave i deserved! Its more than 8 months since my last leave for crying out loud. To make matters worse i was logging in from home and working.


The weather is way too hot. I try not to complain too much as i dont want anyone to think oh i'm such a show off but its way too hot!! none of my cousins have showed up which is a little sad but i'll survive. Everybody had been super excited seeing their gifts. Especially aunts :) I tried my best to get something for all. But still i am not satisfied. But its OK I'm sure i'll get opportunities again for doing it better. I gave mom both the perfumes. Well she was telling bout not having any good ones. So I thought i'll buy something for myself later.Anyways its not like I am brand conscious, but i fell in love with a few fragrances. Versace and nina ricci :) sweet...


So where was I? Yes I've been happy, I've been frustrated a bit because of work. I've been confused at times because of my confusion which I am not ready to talk to anyone bout. I fear being judged. So I'll just be a hypocrite and i hate myself for this because I am the sole person to blame. And I'll just end up talking in riddles if i continue anymore. So chuck it.


I watched Rocket Singh and i liked it. It was a nice movie. I like things like simplicity, honesty and other regular human emotional stuff so that is probably why i liked it. And i never felt bored or that it was too long unlike the other opinions i had heard. Though generally girls tend to be biased to Ranbir, I liked him for what he played and not his looks. I liked the way they portrayed the concept of "money is not everything" . I had been wanting to do a post on it. But never got the chance. Maybe i will at some point later.


Monday is ajja's death ann, and lot of folks will show up and I dont want to do small talk. So not looking forward to it. Also talks bout how everyone my age are getting married and what not! uughh!!


Did I discuss my phase ? I dont remember. So yes, I am again going through one of my phases!! The constant one bout not wanting to get married. I just dont. Thats it. End of story.

edited to add: I just remembered one of R's status msg on FB.: "People who go through phases constantly are not going through it. Its just who they are!"