I had been wondering, the purpose of life, (again!)among those many thoughts swimming in this head. This time it sprouted from weird dreams. I always wake up being fascinated by dreams. I have been wanting to own a dream diary. I think this thought first came to me after reading that article in RD which said “How to interpret your Dreams”. They had suggested to keep a diary by the bed side and fill it with whatever thoughts and remembrance one has after having a dream. Well I digress, the point is I do not have the time nor luxury to do this. I want to write whenever I feel like. I need my personal space. Well we need a lot of things, but we put up with life, it goes on and then suddenly we wake up to realize “Oh, my whole life just passed by in a flash, while I kept dreaming and wanting and waiting...”
As Horace said in his poem “Carpe Diem” → Seize the Day, trust as little as possible in the future. I would love to believe and live by that. I try to sometimes. And then I go back to my cautious self. Sigh. Of course I am living my life, having good and bad times. But I don't feel like I'm living MY life to the fullest extent.
Well there were a series of unfortunate events that occurred recently through which I came out almost unscathed. I always used to wonder what would happen If one fell across a road divider while attempting to cross. That was answered last weekend. Luckily I just sat and then stood up. Also later the same day AR and moi were going on his bike after a very heated outburst from him at the studio. We already had had a long talk the same morning and I knew he was disturbed but I never thought it would affect his riding. And there I was wrong again on that score as it did affect and we did meet with an accident. I just had minor injuries, without even drawing blood(which reminded me of bio sir who had a hard time drawing a tiny drop of blood to do blood grouping test). Well that was that, and oh I forgot to mention those nice shoes which got ruined in the process. Well all my friends had had an eye on it. I had just gotten it repaired and it met its end. Sigh. Well looking at the bigger picture this loss is bearable.
I was a little disturbed and upset all the way home. No reason in particular. But there is so much anger seething underneath it scares me at times. Sometimes its anger directed at others and sometimes at myself. Then I hear a good song and everything settles down. I had told BB earlier to be nice to gaaru cuz he is scared and needs time to adjust, but then I realized at the end of the day I dint do much to help him out either. I felt really horrible about it. Its so easy to advice but equally difficult to practice. I know he can be a bit annoying but we must learn to accept people the way they are. He must be trying really hard to fit in and we din't help him at all. He had been waiting for this day all this while. Its a little sad that people had already developed preconceived notions bout him, which is going to make it all the more challenging. Hmm everyone has their own battles to fight. So I'll just let this be for now.
