"Things I'll never say" :)

I’m tugging at my hair
I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I’m staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I’m searching for the words inside my head

[Pre-Chorus]
(Cause) I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it
Yeah

[Chorus]
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

It don’t do me any good
It’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What’s on my mind
If it ain’t coming out
We’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

What’s wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I’ve got nothing to say

[Pre-Chorus]

Guess I’m wishing my life away with these things I’ll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say
These things I’ll never say


:) :) :)
Avril after a long time :)

Carpe Diem and other things...

I had been wondering, the purpose of life, (again!)among those many thoughts swimming in this head. This time it sprouted from weird dreams. I always wake up being fascinated by dreams. I have been wanting to own a dream diary. I think this thought first came to me after reading that article in RD which said “How to interpret your Dreams”. They had suggested to keep a diary by the bed side and fill it with whatever thoughts and remembrance one has after having a dream. Well I digress, the point is I do not have the time nor luxury to do this. I want to write whenever I feel like. I need my personal space. Well we need a lot of things, but we put up with life, it goes on and then suddenly we wake up to realize “Oh, my whole life just passed by in a flash, while I kept dreaming and wanting and waiting...”

As Horace said in his poem “Carpe Diem” → Seize the Day, trust as little as possible in the future. I would love to believe and live by that. I try to sometimes. And then I go back to my cautious self. Sigh. Of course I am living my life, having good and bad times. But I don't feel like I'm living MY life to the fullest extent.

Well there were a series of unfortunate events that occurred recently through which I came out almost unscathed. I always used to wonder what would happen If one fell across a road divider while attempting to cross. That was answered last weekend. Luckily I just sat and then stood up. Also later the same day AR and moi were going on his bike after a very heated outburst from him at the studio. We already had had a long talk the same morning and I knew he was disturbed but I never thought it would affect his riding. And there I was wrong again on that score as it did affect and we did meet with an accident. I just had minor injuries, without even drawing blood(which reminded me of bio sir who had a hard time drawing a tiny drop of blood to do blood grouping test). Well that was that, and oh I forgot to mention those nice shoes which got ruined in the process. Well all my friends had had an eye on it. I had just gotten it repaired and it met its end. Sigh. Well looking at the bigger picture this loss is bearable.

I was a little disturbed and upset all the way home. No reason in particular. But there is so much anger seething underneath it scares me at times. Sometimes its anger directed at others and sometimes at myself. Then I hear a good song and everything settles down. I had told BB earlier to be nice to gaaru cuz he is scared and needs time to adjust, but then I realized at the end of the day I dint do much to help him out either. I felt really horrible about it. Its so easy to advice but equally difficult to practice. I know he can be a bit annoying but we must learn to accept people the way they are. He must be trying really hard to fit in and we din't help him at all. He had been waiting for this day all this while. Its a little sad that people had already developed preconceived notions bout him, which is going to make it all the more challenging. Hmm everyone has their own battles to fight. So I'll just let this be for now.

First Date - Our take

I was reading this article in Peoples magazine yesterday where Saifu gives advise on the Do's and Don'ts on a first date. Coincidentally it was the same topic of discussion on Indigo yesterday and I thought, here is a nice topic to write about. I was supposed to do it yesterday but then I was too excited to catch R online which led on to a late night chat(read 3 AM) and now I am in office with barely 3 hours of sleep + no work = time to read/ write a blog. 

Also I would like to mention this blog I came across → He says she says column, which is quite an interesting read. I have been meaning to put across my views on the same, episode by episode but haven't gotten around it as of now. 

Coming to the topic of discussion , the Do's and Don'ts on a first date. 

Saifu spoke from a guy's point of view. (And I do not call him that with any affection, its just that my roomie's watched too much of KWK - a particular episode to be precise ) 
He said be chivalrous, funny and attentive. Passing wind or loud burping would not win any hearts. Smell good and wear an air of confidence. Tufts of hair from ears and nostrils need to be removed! Sounds good. 

Do's: 
- I do agree being neat and clean will win points in my black diary ;) 


-A hint of pleasant cologne, minimal facial hair, odorless breath are much appreciated. 
Fresh breath, clean teeth and non chapped lips will score you some points. 


-Being on time, attentiveness and showing interest in something other than themselves and sports is charming. 


-Be nice to the waiter. A person who is not nice to a waiter is probably not a very nice person. Tip decently. She will be watching. 

-Chivalry shows class. Of course we can open doors and pull our own seat. But when you do it for us, we feel special, we feel we are with well groomed men who know how to treat their women. Its the least you can do after we spend hours trying to look good and eye-candy on your arm. 

-Get her flowers. 


-Compliment him. He is trying to be his best for you. Appreciate it. Compliments are not exclusive to women. 


-Talk about each other. Always remember the most important person in each one's life is themselves. So if you can strike a balance, both of you can walk away having had a good time. 


-Insist on ordering dessert, she secretly loves it but wont admit it - something to share is extra sexy. 


-He(Saifu) also said be charming n et al to bag a second date. 

Don'ts: 

-But I believe fake flattery leads to more doom than happy future dates. Say it, only if you mean it. Lies are always annoying no matter how well you sugar coat them. Don't say you will call them unless you really plan on calling them.

-Being macho is cool, being sensitive is rare and refreshing. But please do not be a cry baby! Do not bring baggage to the date table. Either of the genders would not like to hear about your exes on the very first date. 


-Eye contact is necessary, but please do not try to burn them down. 


-Do not be touchy-feely. Not towards your date, nor to yourself. Being a Yes-man is not always exciting. But being intensely argumentative will probably not have favorable consequences. (Damned if you do, Damned if you don't! :-p) 

-And please, please talk to the girl and not her b**bs! Nothing is more annoying than that. Be sensuous, not perverted! 

-Do not, I repeat, DO NOT at any cost drool over another woman no matter how hot she is, nothing could be more insulting and disappointing. Same applies for the girls too. Do not drool over other hot girls. Ok just kidding, don't try to flirt (read batting eyelashes or stolen glances at the guy seated across the floor in the restaurant) 

-Do not get too engrossed in eating. Not cool! Do not chew too loudly. 


-Do not crib. 


-We like men who respect and love their moms. But we do not like “mama's-boy”s. 


-Do not get sloshed. Period. Applies to both. 


-Read her body language and act accordingly. Do not come across too strong, she might have second thoughts about seeing you again. Applies to the girls too. Do not throw yourself at him. He might take you to be just an easy lay. Period. Unless that's all that you want. 


-Always offer to drop her home. Shows you care for her safety. 


-Depending on who asked whom out, pay for the check. If the guy takes the tab, it does show he is generous. Its not that women can't pick the tab , if she offers to go dutch then fine, but guys please get your cash or card, its nice of you to pay on the first date. 

I know , I know I am being way too specific and cannot handle too much or settle for too less. What can I say, I'm a typical Virgo for crying out loud :-p 

I asked C what his take on this, And He says: 

Don’ts (in the order of the severity) 
  
1. Dress up too much – Throws the guy off guard and makes him think “are we on the same page here?!” 
2. Ask very personal questions – Ex: “So have you had sex before?”, “Why did you break up with your ex? What went wrong?”, “Do you not trim your nostril hair? I do... See”. 
3. Talk on the phone for long – It’s a first date and the guy doesn’t know much about the girl. The guy gets bored to sit around the girl uncomfortably while she’s on the phone. 
4. Talk too much – The girl should NOT broadcast. 
5. Try too hard – The ever popular statement of, “She’s annoying!” stems from here. 
  
Dos (This is not very difficult) 
  
1.        Be nice – Simple and effective. 
2.        Dress nice – Simple and effective. 
3.        Talk nice – About things that are easy on the mind, easy on the heart. A good conversation directly maps to “I had a good time with her!” 
4.        Listen – Good listeners are always charming. 

 

Merry X'mas ya'll!!

Here I was, sulking and forlorn,
 missing the Christmas feel.
Walks in my angel with X'mas gifts,
making my dreams so real.


Thank you sweetheart, my All seasons Santa :)

You brightened my day! I was having a sucky day at work, things not going all that well, everything going against my plans, even you deciding not to come at the last minute...But then you showed up !! I had no clue, it was the best surprise ever. I feel blessed to have you in my life.


This song goes out for you with my heartfelt thanks and a bear hug
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful, baby

You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through
Through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me, ooh, baby

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love, I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me

Maybe, I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because
I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me, the tender wind that carried me
The light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Random thoughts

There are certain things that just put me off

Like leaving the lights on all over the house while you sit and watch tv.
Like leaking taps due to some moron's carelessness.
being inconsiderate.
insensitive.
unhygienic!
I cannot stand you walking over my bed with unclean feet.
I do not like if one mouths the bottle while drinking water. Do you have any idea the number of germs being transferred to the rim of the bottle!
stealing!
loud noisy over the top pretentious people.
Nosey relatives.
Smoking!(how could I forget that)
Liars!
When I cant find something because someone misplaced or lost it.
Lending things which are mine to people who I do not consider mine.


The whole thing started with leaky taps and look what it lead to... :)

Rules Of Engagement n et al

I had been watching this series called Stacked and now am done watching it. It was good, funny and light hearted. Now I am 3 and half episodes down watching the Rules Of Engagement and I am somehow unable to take it lightly. Men! I know , I know I should not go around stereotyping, I have had this argument numerous times with different people but I cant help but be judgmental.

Its so typical of how they are, how they will be, it does not surprise me. I know all men need not be how they are portrayed in these series. Yes I have known a fair share who are nice and all that jazz but most of them are couch potatoes who would sit and enjoy with remote in one hand and a beer bottle in the other. Or holding something else! Sigh!

I don't know what brought this on...Maybe it was Adam being silly and naive. Or Jeff being exactly how a husband would be 12 years down the line. Its so difficult trying to picture being in Audrey's shoes. I know its a light hearted sitcom and I should laugh it off, but I am instead actually watching with serious apprehension. This is so not cool! I'd rather be watching HIMYM or The Office.

Ode to the Nice Guys

bumped into this article. something nice!