Fk it!

This is the way she does it. She escalated that issue to Cena though I was not solely responsible for it.

It has been a tiring day. Tiring because of thinking too much. And I do not deserve the way I am being treated. Had a long meeting with Cena regarding the “escalation” by chudail. Had my self respect and esteem been low I would have actually believed that I am worthless to handle this. But this is not the case. Its just the matter of putting in your bit to make this work. She doesn’t so that’s why to vent it out she takes it on me. Cena told she wants to hand this over and move on to something new. She wants a change and she is good at what she does. What does she do other than forwarding mails I ask? Well I dint ask it out loud. But yeah! If she wants to get done with it soon then she has to just try to pass on her knowledge instead of holding it back.

Cena knew I was being hesitant and there were things bothering me but then I don’t want to go crying to him all the time like she does. He also asked if I could stay a couple of more months but I dint commit anything yet. Is it worth it? Everybody stays here just for the money. But is it worth it? No. I think I have earned my stay here but I do not deserve to be treated like this. I don’t think I will take up on his offer. Especially if it is to make her life easier then no ways! A week is ok but even to spare her that my heart refuses to be kind.

I felt like laughing when Cena said you do your bit don’t care if its right or wrong. As long as you put efforts, blah blah then he said Fk it! :D

Well Fk it all I say and head home. Oh he was taunting in a subtle polite way bout not wearing jeans ( but then he is away for 2 n half weeks :D hehahahaha. Off I go!

ooh and on after thought addition: Dinner was a success :D Cant wait to go back and have cold paaysa

Happy Ugadi :)

Happy Ugadi!!!

Well not that it’s a grand feast being here but will try to make something good. Actually Tuesdays are usually good as Sam and myself-read two Amchi’s- cook. So we try to make authentic Amchi food to the best of our knowledge. Today will also make sevai kheer:D

Ah He is finally gone! Who? C*s the A*s Bwahahaha….

And I am learning to give it back when they deserve it. Pehle to khud se koi kaam nai karte uske upar se doosron pe rob jhaadna! Not done bitch! But I know she will find other ways to make me pay for all the smart answers I have given!

I need to keep track of things so I can catch up from where I left off. Day was not bad. Helped mr. Laycock in some issue. Despite the stutter he is nice bloke. Though Cena thinks he is way too persistent. Then there was the flirtatious degothicangel trying to mince words and avoid labels. This was during the discussion on Cams. Surprisingly mom has been cool about it. So thank god! Also DK called yesterday w.r.t. the same-Cam discussion. He has hardly spoken when we have met, so i was surprised when our conversation lasted longer. A very shy guy, Maybe marriage has opened him up.

Somehow it feels good when I get a call. Its hardly that I do unless to tell me to get groceries and it mostly happens when I am wearing those wretched heels. But then I should not be complaining because I need them with formals and they have lasted strong and well.

I get so annoyed when people who I do not want me to call me by nicknames do. That is so not cool! Its definitely not the way to get close to me. Sometimes you should know your boundaries. *tryingtotakeadeepbreath*

Mom has sent me couple of chat recipes. She is excited bout my culinary skills which are on alert here. Well I used to cook in B’lore too so I don’t know why it makes much of a difference. Off I go to cook some more,if it was a feast or not, will tell tomorrow :D

3 more Mondays to go...:(

Ah another day has come to an end. I am sick of writing how hectic it was. But then I need to vent! I need I need! Where else shall I go. Hmmm.

It started off like a pain in the wrong place. Too many issues and just my two frail hands! But anyways I handled them well. Though chudail tried to make my day miserable I hit the ignore button. And that by far is the best decision I have taken in the past 3 months. It was a relief. Anyways I haven’t eaten much and I am craving for good food. I do have a bar of snickers in case I feel I’m gonna pass out :p

Weekend was….it just was. Dint do anything much. Saturday was rolling in bed all day due to a bad case of headache. Popped a tab and was fine later. I finished Cecelia Ahern’s If you could see me now. Initially I was of the opinion I will not like it. But then It was a good book. Unnecessarily lengthy at some points but otherwise it was nice. The concept of invisible people, ghosts don’t sit well with my idea of reading even though it’s a fiction. But some books are good enough to make an impression. I never thought I would like the mediator series by Meg Cabot but I did. But that was years ago. I feel ancient. (Mediator series is the story of this teenager who shifts with her family to a new place and there is a ghost in her room. A nice good looking one at that :D )

Sunday also went in passing. Was online for sometime. Read alot. Shopped DKNY perfume for Sam. Very belated gift. He liked it nevertheless. SK has come from B'lore so another member in the house
I feel like reading them again, I feel like going back to childhood. I have been thinking bout this a lot for the past few days. Trying to re-live the good times.

I was thinking of writing a few other things but I want to just go home and crash. More on Goa plans, my return, shopping plans*dread*, and few other thoughts. Hopefully I’ll have time considering I’ll be giving KT at this hour tomorrow.

The Office and other rants...

Ah she comes storming back with a wicked smile and turns cruella de vile! Peace is destroyed and she is being distructed. Yes she used the term “distructed”. And I heard AKS aka dumb @ssO is probably the next replacement.

Well it’s all based on appraisals and who gets less gets to go. Weird policies but whatever happens does so for good I guess. Yay looks like BB is coming. Change of plans cuz AKS has his MBA plans. But that means I have to tolerate him after going back. Hmmm.

Sometimes you cant resist to make the past haunt you.

Passing thoughts.

Anyways I was wondering why do I write so much random stuff here, only to realise that’s because I have no one to talk to. Sad aint it.

I read a blog yesterday where this lady said “ I am judging you if…” and the list went on regarding different blogs like if they are too open, if they are blogging everyday, if they are disclosing private matters, or gushing about their love lives, or talking too much about their babies, or talking too much in brand terms ah what not. But its also personal view aint it. What she does not like someone else might be eager to read.

I like when I read personal blogs, about family, life, love, kids. I love food blogs, blogs bout work place, blogs about friends.

This is my office. I have taken so called “transition” from two of my colleagues supposedly and now I do all their work. What do they do you ask?

He aka C*s : he eats. All day, period. He smacks his lips and licks the lid. He munches on chips and is the definition of one of the seven deadly sins! Yes you guessed it right! Gluttony! And he stares at the screen doing nothing. He sometimes stares at my screen when he is too tired of the nearness of his screen probably. He stretches and yawns and fakes a lot! Its sometimes feels like a competition on who can fake it better! I’ll get to his better half in the next paragraph. Well since he also fits into another deadly sin I’ll categorise him under sloth too! But though he never does anything he never wastes an opportunity to boast about how hard it is to meet everyone’s expectations and manage his responsibilities. Bull!

And its not just my personal opinion. My other colleagues would have much worse things to tell about him. Anyways, let’s come to her i.e. M aka Chudail without mentioning her, my blogs are never complete. Her aim of life: to make my life miserable. She does not do any work! Other than forwarding mails and chatting. She takes the definition of Bitch to a new level. It amazes me that Cena is dependent on two of the most stupid people in the company. She pings me or mails me all her chores and then cribs about not having time. And the worst part is her cribbing about moi despite me finishing it for her. Aaaargh Gah. Oooh and what else does she do , ah yes. This is exactly what she does—ooh aah yes.. oh god! Shit! Fk!$”£$ read every email like a prayer being murmured.

And its best when they are fighting with each other. These two :)

Ok Enough about them. Now I know why I don’t like to bitch in office. Because I would have already finished it here. Hehahaha..

I was mentioning bout P yesterday na. Lot of shit happening in her life. And it couldn’t have been worse. But unlike last time I am not gonna intervene. She has to sort it out herself. I gave her my honest opinion, but in the end everyone does exactly what they want to do.

Well now that I have just few more days here I need to plan out properly. I was planning to rest and laze at home this weekend but time to make some plans.


Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth it was worth all the while

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

What was she thinking? Being nice to me. She was going gaga over the mail I sent and thanking profusely. Why? It still doesn’t change my opinion about her. That’s what the thing is, you do “good” nobody remembers, you do “bad” nobody forgets. And I never forget.

P msgd me explaining another set of his excuses. Aaargh I feel like screaming at her. How can she put up with this?! I wish she would think at the least half as much as I have thought. If I was in her place I would be single or with someone else. Not pining and waiting for an @ssh*le! And I was just bout to leave , when I saw an issue come in. aaargh !! I cant walk away because I’d rather deal with it now rather than spoil my Monday!

To Each His Own

Morning:

Boy! Am I bad influence or what?! Heehaa…. Well I am a little bit of a rebel at times and do not like to follow the norms (at times only). The RCA(root cause analysis) for the bad influence generated by me is my heels. I hate wearing them. It’s the worst possible torture definitely invented by the man. I had done major shopping for western formals before arriving London. But the pain I have to go through was bearable but then frustrating at times. So I started to pass of my black jeans as formals along with formal shirts and a black jacket. :) Well now I see that chudail has started to wear blue jeans to office on weekdays. Well I am not being judgemental at all. To each, his own!

But its cool SHE is following MY lead hehahaha….

Noon:
Life can be such a bitch at times. Why does it have to get like this that I have to feel so forlorn? Is it worth living like this here? It just gets shitty everyday. And if looks could kill I would be a murderer by now. I have thrown imaginary daggers and what not.

How can anyone get such derisive pleasure after tormenting someone else? How can they be happy? I will grow a hundred yrs old before I return if things continue like this.

To each his own indeed.

Rant

I’m not feeling all that great. I don’t wanna fall sick. I had been showing signs of cold since Saturday. Now, kind of feverish too! This is so not cool. And to top it work was kinda hectic and chudail was making my life miserable. Anyways Ira was good to me. She is nice. Interesting life too.

Last weekend again Cambridge plan went down the drain. I still haven’t found another place to stay. I have no back up. Everything seems so bleak. Dint sleep much last night. Woke up early. Whole weekend I was with Prons laptop. And yesterday he single-handedly completed the feat of dinner preparation. He did a good job. Day before Sam did. They are really improving. 2 new guys have come. Dunno how we gonna manage after this. I need to negotiate with nanny. Cant wait for the month to end. To top it all things are getting worse with the currency value dropping for pounds. It couldn’t have been worse! Its Rs.68 now!

Hmm I think I should just go ahead and buy the laptop here. Yea I will end up screwing up my sleep. And some weekends probably. But atleast I can blog whenever I feel like. Chat or talk to people when I want to instead of sulking in the room. And slao I am seriously contemplating about D90. Lets see.

Bout my WP account, the story was reviewed by 4 different people who read different things. Its common result was nice. Nice according to me is not a compliment. Its something someone says just to be “nice” Lol! Anyways A said it was top rate but I could have left out the timestamp and not confused the reader with calling both guys as “He”. Otherwise it was good for a first timer. C and R reviewed almost at the same time. C said the same regarding one of the particular paragraphs where I could clear it out regarding the men. He was ok with the timestamp. He liked the helplessness described. R said it was little mysterious and gives the reader free rein to imagine. (Though she did ask about the bright light) So did S! I had to explain to him that it was because he was the dead Guy.!! :D Anyways he said it had many breaks and missing links.

Well my point was I dint want to write a lengthy story. It had to be short and mysterious. Few things had to left unsaid as it was the readers right to imagine the situation. Also I dint use names because it was His and Her story. (Also I was lazy because I know it would take a long time for me to settle down happily with 3 perfect names. Please don’t ask what are they…Its just that it’s tough to decide certain names that fit the character)

I am not saying its perfect, but I know what people think now, and how they like to modify it. For now it’s alright. I am not gonna edit the post. If the reader has to read twice to understand, so be it :) ! It’s an OK read per my standards. And its pure fiction !  Maybe after a few posts I’ll make it a viewable blog to friends.

Yesterday was planning out rishikesh trip with C. Cant wait to get back and make it happen. Also gotta go Goaaaa!!! Like last time…lets see how it all pans out.

My eyes hurt. Had been reading Chandu’s post. Its kinda cute and refreshing. Bout her and her boy. I dunno how does she manage to have an open blog under her own name and still discuss everything she feels like. Well I haven’t come across where she has cribbed bout people around so I guess that way it is safe. The problem with me is I have an opinion about everything and I definitely cant afford to make this public. I would like to know Pixie too. Wells so far I think I have come close to all posts by Rayshma, Pixie and Chandni aka Chandu.

Oooh I did not mention the highlight of the day. Mon got membership in the Library. I become a total kid-in-a-candy-shop happy when I go to a library. And I already picked 4! I know I am greedy but whatever makes me happy :D I’ve got Echo burning by Lee child, The kite runner by hosseni, me and r.Darcy by someone and another one by Cecelia Ahern of the p.s. I Love You fame.

Nothing to say...

OMG!! Was she being nice to me? Yes Her! She was talking to me smiling and being jovial. Omg I can’t believe this! Hmm this answers what was haunting me yesterday. Well it so happened that this Indian chick comes by to give M a couple of cake slices. Why you ask? Because she was having a rough day! Well god blesses everyone.

I was a little busy getting my post ready for the WP account so could not write here yesterday! : (

Well it’s Thursday!! Tomorrow is Friday and then the weekend is here! It is such a joyous occasion. Again we are planning to make it to Cambridge this weekend. Let’s see how that plans out.

Since I have started writing at home too I don’t have much to rant here. So for more than three days in arrow no post! Tut tut. So lets do some tag eh

The idea is to do an image search for every answer and choose any image from the first page…

1. The age you will be on your next birthday: 24

2. A place you’d like to travel to: Switzerland when its like this :)

3. Your favourite place: Beach

4. Your favourite food:Konkani meal

Drink: Red wine

5. Your favourite pet: cat!

6. Your favourite colour combination:

7. Your favourite piece of clothing: saree

8. Your all time favourite song: Happy Ending

9. Your favourite TV show: duh! need i say more

10. Full name of your significant other: Hmm

11. The town in which you live: Bangalore

12. Your screen name/nickname:Tigress

13. Your first job: IT professional

14. Your dream job: Travel Photographer

15. Bad habit you have:ummm need i say...

16. Your worst fear: being lonely

17. The one thing you’d like to do before you die: i think i'll make a post out of thisquestion. So skip.


18: The first thing you will buy if you get $1,000,000: house

Phew that was hard work. It took me 3 hrs to get it done.

Hmmm not bad. I just found a funny blog. Will get back to you later!!

Decisions

I fear if I have made the wrong decision. If I should maybe pack my bags and run while I still have the chance. But I don’t wanna chicken out. I am getting aggressive as days go by. And that my friend is not a good sign. As I’ve been told earlier I live on extremes. I don’t know what will happen when I am pushed to the core now.

Gah! I finally got done with the nonsensical thing pending since last night, which I was worrying about unnecessarily. Well I worry constantly don’t I! Well I just don’t want to regret after going back that I lost an opportunity to do right by myself. I just have to keep faith going strong and walk on.

Easing the tension, lets talk about less tense stuff. Like C*s is back. Hope that chudail decides to steam off at his expense. Am I being mean? Hell, who cares! They both deserve each other. (Though I did hear his human side today while he was talking to his kid, it doesn’t count. Well I melt at such stuff…) what else, yes I have started writing again. That helps a lot when I am brooding in the room. The thing is I talk in my head. A lot! So whenever I feel like, I write it out to that person.

Mom is back home after her trip to Rishikesh. And I am so proud of her. She is not all that out going and adventurous but I am glad she went and had a good time. She was out camping in the woods without electricity and she went till level4 of white water rafting!! Aint she cool! And I myself haven’t done that! Tut tut shame on me.

I feel the urge to get a D-90 but I fear I might be splurging unnecessarily. Well it’s not like I am going to make a career out of it. Ummm who knows ;) A girl can dream.

My day to cook so will head home soon. I fear I might develop a sore throat : (

Sudden changes :)

18th Feb ‘10
12.43
Well turns out it wasn’t a big deal yesterday. The one I was worrying bout unnecessarily. All is well! Yesterday was a pretty ok night. Sam had already cut veggies. Prons prepared the dinner. Aaloo sabji, which was edible, pretty good for starters! I prepared surnali batter after dinner. Sam helped me clean up later. Pretty decent chap. He keeps talking of reducing smoking and boozing.

14.04

I just checked my mail to which date was my return ticket booked, it was 04 Mar and I had a gleeful smile. Well if all goes as planned I should be returning after 8 working days!! :D

19th Feb ‘10

15.51
How things change in a day’s time?! 24 hours back I was certain to be packing by 4th. Now it’s not the same case. I think this change of fate is thanks to CR. Yesterday went from bad to worse to better. I feel bad for silly things. So I was hurt when A said something insignificant bout not talking in tulu. I say insignificant cuz I am over it now.

18.19
Well all is well now because I let it go. Yesterday after the very hectic noon as I was leaving I stopped at CR’s desk. She gave me some gyaan and I implemented some of it today. She advised never to lose hope and focus. If I want something I have to go for it. Plan for it. Research it and be prepared for it. She is so wise. She knew BT stuff too. I dint know how or why I ended up pouring my story out to her. But it happened and for the good I believe.

She suggested me to spend time with the dev and also the traders to understand things better. I suggested this to Cena, along with this I also mentioned he needed to talk to Dhamak regarding the next resource to come as I am leavin in 8 working days!! :D ( well not in so many words but you get the gist). He was having another catch up with M in the meantime. But I mde sure he got my mail before that. He has asked me to stay back if I have no probles and to tell dhamak the same. I said I shall ask him, and he says “No you tell him I told so”.

Well I shall go with the flow. I will think bout it over the weekend and see how to proceed. Planning to visit Cambridge. Lets see how that goes. And yes, finally nanny got it from me. I dint take shit when she started teasing. I told her in her face I don’t like her jokes. There! Done that!

I would like to write some stuff I have been thinking about but haven’t had the time. Weekend will not give me much access to comp so see you on Monday!